Our Expectations are our biggest enemies
Holding onto expectations is pretty natural for each and everyone of us. What we do with it would obviously differ from person to person. No two people would react the same for whatever they are expecting even if it could be the same kind of expectations.
We all have expectations from our
- spouse
- children
- friends
- colleagues
and other various aspects and areas of life.
It’s natural to have expectations…
who doesn’t have them?
What becomes the issue is these expectations when not met leads to heart break or bitterness into the relationship. It can easily cause one of having fear, of losing out on love or anything else. When the expectations are not met, and at times one goes about setting high expectations without even thinking if the other person is sync with your expectations. This could lead to a lot of confusion and chaos.
Of course even I have stated many a times not to have expectations. Nevertheless stating it and after that for one to even comprehend it and try to follow it becomes a challenge. When you clearly under the influence of having expectations, and having a feeling that holding onto expectations. It not only brings disappointment with time there is a strain on the relationship.
So what does one do?
Have no expectations?
Really…. Can that happen?
Well, it’s never easy to stay out of the vicious web of not having expectations. At the same time see how to stay out of getting sucked into the toxicity of having expectations. It’s never easy, especially when it’s your loved ones, be it your spouse or your children. It’s natural to have certain amount of expectations.
For example:-
- You would want your spouse to ask about your day or maybe hear you out when you are upset or worried about something.
- You may want your child to give you sometime during the day to spend it as quality time.
- You want to be heard to at times.
- Just the point of having someone understand or acknowledge you.
There maybe myriad such examples.
So in such cases one may think
What’s wrong to have such expectations?
Nothing is wrong. But with such expectations also give some space for contingency plan when certain things are not met. Think about it!
What if your expectations are not met?
What will you do?
What’s your plan?
It’s natural for your loved ones to have flaws and not meet up to your expectations how you deal with it is really important. When you get caught in the space of saying nothing is met. Some steps to take when expectations are not met.
- Step out of the situation or comfort space to try to understand what happened.
- Understand what the other person is saying.
- Be neutral as you hear to the other person explain what went wrong.
- Stay calm and be rational with your choices and decisions .
- Act accordingly without being selfish or upset.
- Realign your expectations
- Make sure you are in control of your expectations and emotions.
- It’s okay if your expectations are not met and it’s okay.
- If a finger is pointed at you, see why? and what did you do or express wrong?
Having expectations is okay, but also be okay with certain expectations not being met.
You can’t just give up or let go if your expectations are not met.
Set expectations that are easy to achieve.
Find easier ways to achieve your expectations without having to worry or be overwhelmed.
It’s all about understanding and giving space. When expectations are not met, see how to work around it and see what’s best and how to improve or put things together. It’s essential for you to understand this.
Get in touch with Samskara Healing, if you are looking for a mentor or you need a session of healing and help remove blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.
Dr. Jayapalashri Anil
In Gratitude to Divine
The Spiritual Princess
Healer & Blogger
Shamanism
Reiki Grandmaster
Samskara Healing