Why am I always used as a Doormat??
How often have you thought of this statement??
Is this something that happens to you frequently?
How do you feel when you have been regularly made a doormat?
These are questions one keeps asking oneself with frustration and helplessness. The point is who gets the blame for this? Is it the one being targeted or the other person who is taking advantage of the vulnerability?
The fact here is what we need to know and understand is no one is to be blamed but ourselves.
Does that surprise you?
Well, it is we who have given this person/ or people a golden opportunity to use us, by us being vulnerable. There is nothing else to point fingers at it’s pretty obvious here. I am sure one must be thinking what in us gets these on to our doorsteps?
Well, there can be many reasons that could put you in a spot and be treated like a doormat. Some simple signs to know one is being treated like a doormat.
- You are just unable to say no people for whatever they ask. No matter what the request is, be it running an errand or cooking a meal. You just go out of your way to help.
- This would lead people to take you for granted and they just presume you would do things for them. Maybe one you made time in your schedule and now it’s just taken for granted that you would do the work. This would lead them to come back daily for the same favour without any reservations.
- They contact you only when favours are needed. This is a clear and biggest sign to know when one is being treated like a doormat. Now when you realise this its totally up to you how you wish to handle this.
- Appreciation is never given to you for taking out the time and doing the favours that have been asked of you. A clear sign of a heartless act one should be observant of this and start drawing lines.
- You reach a point where you don’t feel good about this and you notice the pattern repeating regularly, which is making you feel helpless and uncomfortable.
Being used as a doormat becomes a pattern and it’s pretty easy thereafter to weave a vicious web around oneself. A person can be shifting through an emotional charade and just not sure what to do or do to react to the situation.
It’s not something anyone likes but when we get into being treated this way how do we even get out of such situations. It’s not going to be easy and also, of course, there will be consequences for the same.
How do we help ourselves become more assertive and stop being a doormat?
- Start with yourself and work on saying No. It’s okay if it’s difficult nevertheless, please learn to say no. Even if this person moves away it’s okay. Time to de-weed your garden. Removing all the undesirable and uncomfortable things.
- Work on self-respect and through that teach people how to treat you. It’s utmost important, only when you start reporting yourself will others respect you and take you seriously.
- Work on your confidence and stand your ground when you decline a request. There is no need to go on a guilt trip. It’s okay if you can’t do something and you refuse.
- Understand the patterns and see what are the triggers within you that make these patterns repeat.
- Try to strengthen your communication skills it’s much needed to express yourself and be assertive with your response.
- Define your boundaries and let no one enter your space.
- Raise your self-worth and expectations and work to be clear that others can’t walk over you easily.
- Know that your special and work towards helping yourself as need be.
- Pull your power back from the person who has been treating you like a doormat.
Everyone goes through the patches where they feel that they have been used as a doormat. It common and know that you are not alone on this path or journey. The fear that what if I stop being a doormat and everyone leaves me. That has to be removed or released.
Be happy of the ones who have been using as a doormat walk away without a question. It would help clear the toxicity from your space and also bring in a fresh and clear environment. Yes, it can be very painful and going through such sequence of events is not easy at all. The point is our life should be on our control and not others.
Allow yourself to take the reigns of your life back into your hands and work on progressing towards bringing things into order and ease.
No one can use you as a doormat unless you give them the power to do so.
There is no need to be a doormat to please the world. You can still do things that make you happy without being a doormat.
Get in touch with Samskara Healing if you are looking for a mentor to help you and guide you through tough parenting skills and blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.
🌺Palash 🌺
In Gratitude to Divine
Spiritual Healer
Samskara Healing
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