We all have dreams and hopes, we build this keeping in mind that some of them, we were unable to fulfil and we wish to see our children trying to fulfil some of our dreams. The journey of being a parent starts with hopes, dreams and plans. A child is born the entire life revolves around the child. Priorities changes and our plans are all based on what’s right for our children.

Everyone has a list of things they wish to make their children do or become. Be it from studying to the way they are groomed and their overall wellbeing. Each parent has their ideology and beliefs that is put into our action while they go about planning for their children.

Initially, in their younger years, our children our like sponge absorbing everything that’s happening around them. They are yet to come into use their thought process and ideas. As they reach the teens and start discussing with peers there comes a change and shift to their thinking. Life takes a total turn for them it’s beyond anything one can imagine.

Now how does one ever get prepared to deal with this?

In reality, we can never be prepared or ready to deal with such setbacks. There will be contingency plans too as the expectations are high and we can’t accept a No from them. Nevertheless, with time, it’s good for parents to start accepting their children’s dreams and living with it. Expecting them to change will not happen as they are yet to explore and live a life. As a parent, we will give in as we always want the best for our children.

1. Be very clear with communication and keep it open all times. Don’t hide facts or things from each other as that leads to a lot of trust issues which should be avoided completely.
2. Get a counsellor or healer to step in and to bring about a mutual agreement. Especially when the things are not going as per plan. How will one be able to deal with such things? It is not easy so the best thing is to bring in an outsider who is non-judgemental and who can bring in their perspective.
3. Lay all the cards on the table and be clear with what you expect and want. Be open and ready to get refusal or disagreements as that will be pretty normal as they have their thoughts and beliefs.
4. Make them own up to their choices and let them get responsible for the choices they make. Be patient to make them understand this and let them make the choices they wish for.
5. Stick to the points and don’t go down beating around the bush. This will not give you an answer. It just creates more chaos and misunderstanding.
6. Don’t get into blame games, now is not the time for that. Be mature and just stick to the main situation or topic of discussion.
7. Accept mistakes and failures. No one is perfect so its okay to have setbacks or go off track. It happens to all we have to let them build their own identity.
8. Give them a lending ear and just hold space even if it means that you are against it or not okay with the progression of circumstances.

When we understand the significance of knowing and appreciating each other and space is given for each other to breathe. Life gets less arduous and less painful to live. As expectations come down and then there is no rat race that’s to be won.

Everybody will be going at their pace doing things as needed. All it takes us the will to let go of the ego and accept your children for who they are. Somewhere down the line they are mirroring us and could also be a shadow part of us coming out this teach us important lessons of life.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself… You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow…”- Kahlil Gibran

The best thing to do would be to step aside and let our children make their choices and mistakes. The learning has to be theirs not ours so what we fear or even try to stop them from looks more like our weakness and that we are trying to control their life. Being there and holding space of them would be more assertive and comfortable for them.

Instead of picking and making a fuss, it is rather better to be graceful and accept the lessons that are coming from them to us. Each and every relationship has an important role to play. Same goes with our children, they come with their own plan and destiny we have to let them know that even if we are not okay with it we let them be. Let them explore and understand what’s right or wrong for themselves.

Our children are the adults of tomorrow, allow them to build their identity and boundaries without being a hindrance to them.

Tomorrow is unknown, yesterday cannot be undone but today is all that matters. Be wise to use it well especially to take the right decisions.

Get in touch with Samskara Healing, if you are looking for a mentor or you need a session of healing and help remove blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.

🌺Palash 🌺
In Gratitude to Divine
Spiritual Healer
Shaman
Reiki Grandmaster
Samskara Healing
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