Can we be friends with our children?
Do we start with blaming the technology or should we just stick to blaming the current environment and peer pressure? No matter what it is like the chicken and egg story. We can’t point a finger onto something. But for sure we know the adverse effects social media is having on our lives.
Privacy and space is something out of the window and looks like for good. I am sure we will take time to even have these back into our lives and also work on getting things in order or back in line. We with our growing up years never had to face any such situations and we managed to have a growing up period without gadgets and technology.
Unfortunately for our children, they have been exposed to this from the very start of these coming into our homes and lives. Now with that kind of exposure and thanks to them at young ages being exposed to some of the nonsensical stuff on the net has had its fair share of effect on our children.
The upbringing we had and now what our children are completely different. As they come into their teenage zone and go through their hormone changes and peer pressure as parents we should step up to be a friend to them more than anything else. I am sure your child knows you are a parent so there is no need to reinforce that fact or point in.
Allow them to build their own identity and explore all kinds of possibilities and paths. As parents that is worry some as they can get carried into doing something wrong. There is enough and more out there which we pray for to be eluded and kept away from our children. Truth be told we cannot hide them no matter where we run to. So one should rather be prepared to allow them to face the realities of life and keep a watchful eye on them.
In case we are the ones going on saying
Don’t do this
No
you can’t go there
Don’t come late
The word ’don’t’ is more frequently used than agreeing with our children for going ahead and doing something. We will have rebellious children and also they may start hiding facts or truth from us. That’s is not appreciatable for sure.
So how are we going to be more
- Patient
- Friendly
- Understanding
- Approachable
Is it that easy?
It depends on how you perceive yourself and your world around you.
There are simple pointers for us parents to work on:-
- Lead by example our children are like sponges and watch us very close to all that we do and how we react to situations. So leading as an example would help them make their own decisions.
- Encourage your children to explore and get out of the comfort zone. They need to explore know what is right for them. By being a pillar of strength they will rely on your opinions and thoughts. Moreover, they would discuss everything with ease.
- Don’t be overprotective as that would hamper their thoughts and ideology. By being overprotective we may push our children to the brink of becoming rebellious towards us.
- Disciplining is needed but there has to be some space where faults are expected without a fuss. Children should imbibe the discipline as part of their daily life and not have resentment towards it.
- Boundaries and Space should be maintained for both parents as well as our children. These should be defined and worked on, one should be mindful and more overstep boundaries.
- Respect should be there for both and as parents, we also should respect our children for who they are and allow them to build their identity and self-confidence.
- Decision-making should be an important skill and allow our children to learn and grow up to understanding the importance of owning up to the decisions taking and the failures of life that they have had or the success which has come their way.
- Instead of picking on their faults and nagging them on daily basis look at their strengths and help them make that their foundation to move ahead with their choices.
- Trust has to be built and worked on and the relationship should be built on trust and respect being open to express disappointments and disapproval without rocking the boat.
As parents, we can make our children’s life or break them. Though there are two schools of thought here.
- Parents can never be friends with their children
- Parents should be friends with their children.
It’s irrelevant from which school of thought you come from the point is as parents we often reflect our ideologies and beliefs on our children and condition them to it in various ways.
Just being friendly and more approachable helps us keep open communication with our children. This is much needed though we do become friends there are boundaries and that should be maintained.
Get in touch with Samskara Healing if you are looking for a mentor to help you and guide you through tough parenting skills and blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.
🌺Palash 🌺
In Gratitude to Divine
Spiritual Healer
Samskara Healing
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