DO I WANT TO LET SOMEONE HURT ME?
I am sure I can hear ” NO” screaming in each one’s head or mind. None of us like to get hurt no matter what the situation is irrespective if we are right or wrong. Pain can you give us a whole lot of fear or anxiety which could bring about a tremendous reaction within us.
One may actually ask why would I want someone to hurt me?
We never plan nor asked to be hurt but the situation, circumstances, and expectations bring about the point where we can get hurt by our loved ones. We all have a threshold of withstanding the pain or hurt and when it does cross the threshold it could bring about a drastic change in our reactions.
What could certain reasons be wherein one can get hurt?
> Expectations would top the list as we all have expectations from our loved ones, families, and friends. When these are not met it brings about a disappointment and eventually if it is repeated time and again it reaches a point where we are feeling let down. Expectations lead us to feel highly let down or hurt. The more we expect the more prone we are to hurt.
For eg:- Expecting our friends and loved ones all to call and wish us for our birthday, is a natural or common thing. Now whether we get all the calls is questionable. Some may forget or miss for whatever reason. This can come as a huge disappointment and eventually hurt.
>Boundaries this would be the next reason why we are hurt or let down. The collapse of boundaries or removal of the boundaries with our loved ones or people we care for and that would open up a channel or space where one can get into the spot of being hurt.
A common question often asked why would we have boundaries with loved ones?
Boundaries are needed in every relationship and boundaries are needed to define our space with every relationship and aspect of life. When these boundaries are crossed or you feel that one has crossed the limit that is where the pain comes in. At times we allow people to step in or collapse the boundaries and that would equally cause discomfort and pain to us it is essential for us to have a defined boundary for each and every relationship.
>Giving power to someone because one trusts them or cares for them could bring about a huge shift in some relationships. We may give them the right for various reasons from wanting to be acknowledged to wanting to be respected. We give the right and allow them to talk to us or miss behave and we do not react on it we are allowing them or giving them the control and also the trigger points which would bring about the required reactions in a physical body.
Again one can ask what do you mean?
No matter what relationship we are addressing, when we allow ourselves to be treated in a particular manner we are accepting the fact that we deserve it and also showcase it at times with our thoughts or acts. This is how we over a period of time, give our power to others. This can be family, friends, or even colleagues at times even acquaintances.
>Lack of self-respect and self-love are also clear indications where we open ourselves or put ourselves in a spot where we can time and again get hurt or feel let down. We may want to intent good but due to our own weaknesses, we open ourselves to be a victim to hurt and pain. When we care for everyone around us and we try to do something for the betterment and their good it can bring about resistance in them which can lead us to bouts of disappointment and pain.
> Rejection in life for various reasons could also bring about pain to us. This rejection could bring guilt, shame, feeling unloved at times and humiliation to us. Especially when the rejection comes from people we love people we expect to be with us is one of the biggest downfalls for us and it gets very difficult to deal with the situation or even accept what’s happened.
>Criticism is another aspect which could bring pain, humiliation and also makes it difficult for us to accept what has actually happened. We may actually sit in denial trying to reason to ourselves just to make ourselves feel happy. In reality, dealing with criticism is not easy and could literally bring us down onto our knees, losing our self-esteem, respect, confidence, and love. Working on building these would be a job by itself as it would be almost like the world has fallen around them or they have fallen off a cliff.
>Trust is an essential part of building the basic foundation of our relationship be it loved one’s friends or family. When the trust is broken the natural reaction would be disbelief, denial, and eventually being heartbroken it will lead to pain which could bring about a massive shift or change within us. We may find it difficult to actually build on our trust again especially once it’s completely shattered or broken.
Do I really want to hurt have someone hurt me?
We may not intend as I stated earlier, but with some of the above stated points like expectations, boundaries lack of self-love giving power to somebody we reach a spot which can become painful for us. This is when we have to take a decision and see what is it that you want.
After understanding your weakness and aspects of life where you need to work on yourself. Start working on yourself and give yourself time to release and heal. Notice how when you start setting boundaries and putting strong walls which says this is your limit don’t cross. People will start treating you with that kind of respect and love that you have been yearning for yourself.
Our thoughts and actions should be in our control and we should do things that brings happiness to us.
We should know that happiness lies within us and not go looking all over the place for it.
Reach out to Samskara Healing if you have an issue or trouble to let go for guidance, support or a session.
🌺Palash 🌺
Spiritual Healer @samskarahealing
Priestess|Shaman|Karunaki master
Reiki Master|Sacred symbols Master
Light Body Practioner|Meditation Facilitator
Lavender Flame Practitioner
CIRCULATE – GIVE – DIVINE – COUNT – DONE
