Do People Dislike Us.., Without Even Giving Us A Chance To Speak Or Even Say The Truth?

I came across a quote, “Imagine how many people dislike you, because they didn’t hear to your side of the story”. This made me sit to think, could this be the only reason for people to dislike us?

Hmmm..!!!

Yes
No
Can be ??

What’s your choice?

Well for me I feel it’s a NO!

There can be umpteen reasons for someone to dislike you. It can start with ranging from jealousy to envy… I also had a thought of how many people are ready to hear both sides of a story?

But here I want to explore on the point, what triggers an individual, that it brings about dislike or resentment?

Before that, I choose to start asking myself this question, what in me would get triggered to actually move into a state of dislike?

Well,

My first thought is, I usually don’t move into a space of dislike or label it as dislike. I keep people, I am not comfortable with at an arms length and I feel that’s okay and has nothing to do with dislike. By keeping a person at arms length, helps me keep my space clear of toxic relationships. So my opinion is neutral. It also helps me maintain a healthy as well as a diplomatic relationship. Nevertheless let me dig in deeper to ask myself why, what and when?

There might be multiple reasons let me start off with listing them out.

1. Someone who would easily try to push my boundaries especially when I am not comfortable. I don’t need to hear the other side of the story here. As for me my space is very important, and if someone’s tries to push their way in when I am not ready or I don’t want them there, can make me easily shut off and disconnect.

Now if this is right or wrong is not the debate I am looking for. This my space and I have my thoughts of what’s okay and what’s not okay and that’s something that I would appreciate it, if it’s respected. If someone doesn’t acknowledge it, they need to look at it and try to work it out with themselves as well as me. Well would it indicate that I am being tough on a person person or being in a space of dislike? I would say, not in a space of dislike, but I wouldn’t argue about having to like the person too.

2. If I feel disrespected or unheard, I wouldn’t waste even a minute there. Since I have taken a huge step to work on self-love and self-respect. Now if I am given the vibe of your not needed or appreciated it’s nothing but natural for my boundaries to go up and for me to walk away with head held high. I wouldn’t think twice, of should I wait or should I give a second chance.

Every relationship no matter with who and what level the relationship is in. One needs to respect and acknowledge each and everyone in that relationship and they should be treated with respect and dignity. You can’t ignore someone, treat them bad, be mean or nasty. It won’t be off any help. So again would this bring dislike from me? Maybe, as well I would never hold such a person with respect.

3. Now as I stated these two points, I am hitting a blank space. I am absolutely unware of what else can be a trigger for me? I sat to ask myself how many people I dislike?? Again I drew a blank.

Now, why is it that I am blank and is that I am unable to accept or even acknowledge the people I dislike? The answer is simple, disliking someone is an option and I choose not to accept it. No one is perfect. I am comfortable with this simple thought. So I choose to be the one sitting on the fence being neutral.

So who am I! to judge or even create an opinion about someone. I may disapprove of some act or behavior that’s about it. Beyond that I wouldn’t waste my energy or time to put my energies towards disliking or even trying to have some kind of resentment.

Now when I realize my own thoughts and feelings and I turn to look towards others opinions and thoughts.

What can the triggers be for some to go to the extent of disliking someone?

• Jealousy / Envy: It comes out first, this can make or break any relationship. This emotion can actually go to the extent of ruining relationships and also a person. An emotion to watch out for and take care of.
• Being Hurt: Whatever the reason can be, once you are hurt, or disrespected, which could lead to a lot of pain and wounding, it would often let a person spiral towards disliking or having resentment towards a particular person. This cannot be easily changed, or worked on. Since forgiveness won’t come easily.
• Abusive Behavior: Someone who is obnoxious or often has a behavior which could be looked upon as an abusive behavior would immediately create fear with the people around them. Leading to having dislike or resentment towards the individual or being in their space or circle.
• Being Conditioned: Growing up in family or a circle where you are often told certain things about an individual. You grow up believing and getting conditioned towards what’s being told. This could lead to develop a dislike or resentment, seeing your parents or peers having the same.
• Misunderstanding/ Miscommunication: Another important aspect, which could lead to a lot of confusion and chaos, especially when stories are weaved, which are not true, leading to believing that you are in a space of dislike, or resentment. It could also lead the person to believe, to be the victim since they have experienced or felt something off.
• Insecurity: This is equally an important aspect which could lead and make a person spiral towards creating confusion and chaos not only for oneself, but also to the people around you. Another reason to be having dislike or resentment towards a person.
• Anger: Anger is such an emotion which could bring out a lot of suppressed thoughts and feelings. At times a person who is having a bout of anger could actually create so much of confusion that could lead to a toxic environment. Again being exposed to such kind of an environment, could often bring dislike, and resentment to the people around.

The list can go on, the fact here is, there might be myriad reasons to dislike someone. Instead of weaving stories, and believing what has been said, take a moment to actually look at the birds eye view of the situation, or know that there is always two sides to a story, and the actual story by itself.

Getting carried away with perceptions, or sitting in a space of delusion, would not be the answer here. It is okay to have opinions. It is okay to move towards being judgmental if that is what you please. At the same time do not sit in a space where you are having an opinion, or holding a grudge or anger against someone.

Dislike is something that could actually clog a person thinking, and lead them towards the web of delusion and confusion.

Sitting in a space of dislike, is not healthy at the same time not worth it.

Without knowing the whole story, never create an opinion which could lead to dislike or resentment.

It’s easy to create an opinion of dislike towards a person, but that is not an answer, or a solution to the matter that lies before you.

Get in touch with Samskara Healing, if you are looking for a mentor or you need a session of healing and help remove blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.

✍️ Written by
Dr. Jayapalashri Anil

In Gratitude to Divine
The Spiritual Princess, Healer & Blogger
Shamanism, Reiki Grandmaster
Samskara Healing