Expectations leading to heartbreak?
Expectations leading to heart break?
Don’t we all have expectations!!!
It’s natural to have expectations and these expectations at times lead to heartbreaks and pain. The simple reason being we don’t expect from anyone but our very own circles of friends and family in simple terms loved ones. When these expectations are not met it starts to prick the heart right in the centre and that is something we are never ready to face.
Acceptance of expectations is the only way to even realize what we want and what is it that we don’t care about. Expectations start getting built with time for various reasons and situations.
Like we may have expectations for
- Our spouses to pamper us or take time out for us. Which is nothing. But natural, as when we love someone along with the expectations of getting nurtured and pampered comes along. Can we manage without it, no. Nor can we try to say I don’t expect as it’s nothing but a relationship is built on trust, love, communication and interpersonal relationship skills.
- Children, it’s nothing but natural to have dreams for our children and want them to do well in life. Due to which we have thresholds at times which can become a harrowing experience both for the children and the parents. As children, as they grow they to wish to build their own identity and not get caught in the drama the parents put out. These expectations can lead to a lot of pain and disappointments
- Friends are everything for us, basically lifeline for all. The expectations with friends reach various thresholds as each one have a different relationship with each one of us. Some need them 24/7 while some we need them for certain issues. Some drinking buddies while others are coffee buddies. Nevertheless, the expectations sky rocket and when things don’t go right the disharmony can be like a loose cannon. We can never know who and why will one get hurt.
- Work ethics with colleagues, no matter which field. Those who are being very disciplined and following work ethics may find it very difficult when being cheated or betrayed or even treated in a bad way. As there is a fine line expectation stating that when I am being so careful I expect that same to be given to me. It’s a natural feeling and one can go through a rigmarole of emotions as they journey the dark alleys of betrayal and confusions.
- Expectations from oneself is a pretty complicated things to be even addressing. As we can never know what to expect from ones own dreams and hopes. At times are deals are unachievable that it can break our confidence level.
These expectations spring up naturally and we can never know what triggered them or how to even nip them at the bud. Getting caught in the drama of expectations can start churning a cauldron of emotions and feelings which one can do without. There is a fine line which can be placed and also through the process of regular de-clutter let these be released.
Accumulation of these rejections and dejections lead to a lot of stress and heartbreaks which I am sure by know will agree we can do without them. No one needs these in their life, having control on self and understanding the situation and knowing at times everything can’t go as per what you choose accept your life.
How can one work on not having expectations?
- Look at yourself and understand what is it you want and prioritize them knowing at times there can be setbacks and failures. Keep space for such turn off events and also have a contingency plan in hand.
- Introspect daily as this is a beautiful tool to have and use. When hurt or upset about something take time to mull over things and see what is happening.
- Be very clear with your boundaries and no amount how much I emphasize this is one place where the issues always begin.
- Communication is much needed and when upset be open to express the same without any inhibitions or fear.
- The willingness to accept a no or failure should be there and also being graceful of the same is much needed.
- It’s not always of I, me and myself it’s also about understanding what others want and how would you wish to deal with that.
- Every relationship has a huge and take, and there is no room for one way traffic. So be very clear about this for yourself as well as for the other person. Being open to receive and also being more than willing to give is important.
- Keeping a close circle to vent out pain and help let go of that what is not needed is much important as it helps one get back and move on with life.
- There are many things which cannot be met with expectations at the same time so work things out and don’t feel let it bog you down when the going gets tough.
- The lessons that some of these get to us when expectations are not met is equally important and work on taking the lessons and teachings.
Expectations leads to hurt and pain but nevertheless one cannot live without expectations.
Understanding that expectations can have triggers both internally as well as externally helps one know how to handle failures in expectations.
Get in touch with Samskara Healing if you are looking for a mentor to help you and guide you through tough parenting skills and blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.
🌺Palash 🌺
In Gratitude to Divine
Spiritual Healer
Samskara Healing
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