Is it tough to accept certain behaviour changes of loved ones?

No matter what every one of us have certain expectations and these expectations leads to hurt and suffering.

Why?

The answer is simple!

Who do we have expectations from?

People we love and care for, it’s nothing but natural to have expectations about certain things from them.

Is it okay to have expectations?

Yes, of course, it is normal.

What goes wrong is our expectations at times goes beyond reach due to maybe various reasons. Each one has their thresholds marked out and go about living in the belief that these have to be met.

• We reciprocate by doing things and expecting the same for us.
• Going out of our way to do things and could lead to disappointment when not met with equal reciprocation.
• Due to our belief system going strong the expectations our built on it.
• Being unreasonable with our thoughts and demands.

These could be a few pointers for having high expectations and getting upset when not met.

The other point is when at one time all is well and you get used to a certain way of life with your loved ones and then one fine day it changes for whatever reason. But for you, it’s getting difficult to understand or even reason with. As you are used to a way of acts and behaviours and one fine day it changes. It’s nothing but natural to leave you in a spot of confusion and pain.

I have written much about how expectations lead to hurt. But today I wish to address the point when suddenly your loved one’s behaviour changes how do you deal with it?

Is it acceptable??

No

But can anything be done about it?

No, not really.

When this is understood it becomes easy to move ahead accepting things as they are. There will be pain and discomfort but still, it will give the required clarity to accept it when we have the right mindset. Being mindful and working towards our live purpose keeps us on track and keeps us moving ahead with life no matter how tough it gets.

How do we deal with something like this without rocking the boat?

1. Try to first see your own needs and wants and prioritise them as needed to help you sort yourself out.
2. Introspect as to what could have been the triggers for such strong boundaries being set which is becoming painful for you.
3. Expectations are normal but its good to also have a contingency plan in case if something doesn’t go the way you would want it to. What would your reactions be or how would you deal with it?
4. Would you wish to communicate your disappointment? It’s good to express it and I always encourage everyone to express what they feel. But here its something to think of. At times by trying to express you may get into a spot that is not comfortable for you. Also, you may not want to hear what’s going to be told. At times like it’s good not to express but have a contingency plan to move with. Yes I am sure you may be wondering that I am contradicting my statements. I am not, as at times silence speaks volumes and we should use that when needed.
5. The emotions that get triggered must be felt and acknowledged as that’s the most important thing here. It will help you understand where you stand and what to do or how to move forward without any hiccups.
6. Should I go through this? It’s up to you and what’s your threshold of expectations and how do you wish to deal with it. So whether you wish to tolerate it cause of your love for your loved one or you wish to say enough is enough you can’t treat me like this it’s totally up to you and the situations you have faced.
7. Now is the time to set boundaries and step back as much as needed and keep boundaries high so as not to be hurt or let down by the loved ones who are in the process of hurting you with their thoughts and acts.
8. Work on your weakness and change them to your strengths and see ways to move forward with or without expectations.
9. Learn to move on and start working on accepting things and fill in the gaps which are occurring due to the indifference or callous nature of your loved ones.
10. Lastly, seek support from someone who can understand and be able to hold space for you as you take decisions and steps to move on without hurt or pain.

It’s easier to write about such things but difficult to implement the same in our life. But the simplest and easiest thing is to be quick in accepting and learning to move on with grace and dignity. The pain and suffering will be nominal and will be easy to overcome without any problems or hesitations.

The crux is to understand this and be open to receive the required lessons and move on without any expectations or blocks. Like I said it’s easy to write and talk but the one going through it has to come into the right mindset and face the challenges and also the circumstances. At times it can be awkward or even humiliating as everyone is watching and passing their judgements on the same.

The art of knowing when to step away or walk away without looking back helps one set boundary and also keeps the expectations at the minimum.

It’s good to pick and choose one’s battles and also when to learn not to speak as it helps in knowing the rightful acts.

Get in touch with Samskara Healing, if you are looking for a mentor or you need a session of healing and help remove blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.

🌺Palash 🌺
In Gratitude to Divine
Spiritual Princess
Healer & Blogger
Shamanism
Reiki Grandmaster
Samskara Healing
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