Is Self Work Easy?

Is Self Work Easy?

Sally was a gracious and friendly lady always ready to help and be of service. She was always ready to be okay to go the extra mile to help people around her. In the bargain, she was treated like a doormat. Often thrown around without much gratitude or acknowledgment. Life has its plan for Sally for which she was prepared nor ready to learn.

When she sat to write down her thoughts, she asked herself in what way is she planning to help herself? It’s never easy nor is she a happy-go-lucky type. What’s it that she is planning on doing to help herself? She is often hurt and let down by being treated mean. At times she has been pushed away or completely neglected. She had realized it’s a pattern and how was she going to help herself out of this.

So she went about setting boundaries and telling herself that, this is it, no more getting treated like a doormat. She set strong boundaries and sat to pull her power back from the various people she had given the power to. She even went about noticing her triggers and started to work on them. No matter what she did there was this one weakness that she couldn’t work on.

That was when her elders called her, she could never decline or say no. She wouldn’t even talk back or say anything to them. She would smile and take in whatever they said without a blink of an eye. It was frustrating to watch how she never voiced herself in front of her elders. Her point of view was that they are my elders I cannot say no to them.

The question to Sally is “ What would happen if you say a no to your elders”? She sat thinking and shrugged her shoulders saying nothing will happen. She also started to justify that she had said no couple of times ( which is true for the records). Nevertheless, why is Sally feeling helpless and frustrated if that’s the case?

The answer is simple she has learned to put boundaries for her elders too. She needs to put a definition for her space and her time. This she found difficult to do, as communicating this was something she dreaded and feared. So when we read the struggles of Sally and see how she fought to set boundaries and learned to say no. A battle that she is still fighting the biggest lesson is that such things cannot happen overnight it takes time and not just five or 10 sessions of a healing modality.

Do you see a Sally in you? How often do you find yourself in the crux of a situation where you wish you could have avoided? Life through the chains of blocks and challenges that come your way. It’s time to know and understand that self-work is not child’s play. It cannot be done in a day or a week, it takes years to help understand and set boundaries.

Self-work is never easy

Self-work is never easy, one needs to take baby steps. Through the process also know that there can be setbacks and blocks. So one needs to have the mental resilience to keep moving. Trying to procrastinate or sit on the fence without taking a step to help oneself will lead you nowhere.

To start self-work one needs to be in the place accepting and ready to let go of the pain and things that are not needed. Especially the pain and triggers that could crumble the boundaries down. The amount of excuses one has for self-work is tremendous. The excuses can flow easily without any issues or concerns.

One of the main fear is moving into a space of the unknown, we can never be certain what is expected as we move around the bend. These extreme fearful thoughts bring a flow of emotions and excuses come naturally.

Do you often get caught in situations where you find it difficult to voice yourself out of fear to be judged? Book a session @ Samskarahealing to help you build your boundaries.

Written by
JayaPalashri
The Spiritual Princess
Shaman
Reiki Grandmaster
Meditation Facilitator
Samskara Healing