The sacrifices we make who asks for them?
Hmmm, yes isn’t that a statement to ponder on!
Well, who asked you to make any sacrifices?? This is a million-dollar question as it helps one to see or comprehend things differently.
We think, our family and our loved ones want the sacrifices we do and somehow we feel we are being very heroic or a martyr by doing a lot of things for our family and loved ones. In return anticipating the basic point of being acknowledged and reciprocated.
A simple and important question to ask yourself here is
Did someone ask you to do this sacrifice?
Yes/no/ not sure
Well, of course, it does make us think and wonder. What starts as a duty-bound choice suddenly turns out to be felt like
“ I did all this for you and now you just don’t get to see the point of sacrifices I have done”.
The dilemma of not understanding when and how and what we wanted to with love turned to become a duty and pushed to more of an obligation and then onto a sacrifice is something that can leave many people worried or anxious. Also, it could let a person slip into a state of deep depression trying to reason and understand what has happened or gone wrong.
Life dishes us choices and options we get caught in the midst of
Want
Or
Have
Through this confusion it leads to various issues as we may start a journey or process with, I want to do this and slowly it slips to I have to do this. That’s when duty and love get mixed up and suddenly what happened to be for love turns out to become a sacrifice which we detest and dislike. Leaving a lot of bitterness in the air due to disappointment and disagreements.
Over a period when not worked on or addressed these could become trigger points for a toxic environment. Leading to break-ups and relationships drifting apart. This is one thing which can be controlled and avoided when we understand that no one asks us to do anything. Be it family or friends we do it out of love or the need to be acknowledged or appreciated is our thoughts or perceptions.
How can we stop getting into the web of sacrifices:
- First and foremost understand what are your priorities and list them as needed.
- Know your likes and dislikes and embrace it or accept them.
- Work on your boundaries and define your space.
- As you work on your communication skills be clear and open with your thoughts.
- Acknowledge what the other person has to say and be respectful with your thoughts.
- It’s okay if someone refuses your help or refuses to accept you. As they haven’t asked for it you have stepped in.
- Be in an open conversation and allow space for differences.
- Know that Rome was not built in a day so take your time to work things out. No one is perfect accept faults and mistakes and move forward.
- Every person has a choice and they can live it the way they wish, you can not force or enforce things to be done as per your wish.
- Accept a no gracefully and step back, hold space for them to come back if need be. If they don’t come back then it means it’s time to move ahead.
When one understands that the choice of making the so-called scarifies was done by us just to have our loved one feel loved or comfortable. When things go wrong or when you want them and they are not there for you, don’t blame them and avoid putting the fact that I have sacrificed my life for you…
No one is interested or even going to give it a second thought. You rather say okay I am here and when you need me or my time come. Open your relationship door and let it be open, makes things easy. Also, the other person has time to think and won’t feel forced or cornered into being in a spot. No one likes that either to be cornered or to have their arm twisted into doing things.
Before you do something for your loved ones understand if you really want to do it for them.
Don’t enforce your likes and dislikes on others no one is interested to embrace it.
Sacrifices are a choice which is left to the one who is taking a step to do something. Avoid the jargon of the blame game.
Get in touch with Samskara Healing if you are looking for a mentor to help you and guide you through tough parenting skills and blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.
🌺Palash 🌺
In Gratitude to Divine
Spiritual Healer
Samskara Healing
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