Who am I pleasing?
The conditioning one gets with growing up in a society with various kind of expectations brings about a lot of pressure on a person. This pressure brings about a change in the way we perceive and receive things in our life. As there is a point of attachment involved here.
These attachments lead to a lot of issues starting with
- Heartbreaks
- Disappointments
- Frustrations
- Rejections
- Jealousy
- Hatred
- Anxiety
- Fear
These emotions can become underlying triggers for trying to please our loved ones even when in pain or going through certain situations.
Why do we go down the path of pleasing?
The simple and most important aspect is we are conditioned to be acknowledged and told that we are good or doing something right or not. It is much needed and when we don’t get it we fail to understand how to move along without having these acknowledgements.
When a person goes all out to please and try to get the required nod or acknowledgment and you don’t get there is a deep resentment that starts to build within the person and this can start spreading it tentacles through the person and the truth of the matter can be lost. This resentment will make a person do a lot of things what normally he/ she wouldn’t have thought of doing and those suppressed shadows parts start showing themselves up.
The rise of the inner conflicts can mess the whole thinking process and lead one into pure darkness from where there is no scope for reasoning or trying to accept the facts of life. As in the process of pleasing somewhere down the path we lose our self respect and identity and the happiness we are seeking is completely diluted.
Thus comes yeh most important question one should ask oneself
Who am I pleasing?
- Am I pleasing the world
- Pleasing loved ones
- Pleasing my work colleagues
Or am I trying to please myself? Rarely do we see anyone trying to please oneself. The priority is never given to self it’s always given to others and everything else. When it comes to self one is never ready and will never acknowledge the same. The suppression of emotions becomes so strong that we just refuse to see the facts.
How can one help oneself?
- Understand that no matter what you can’t please the world. Each ones have their own ideology and beliefs based on their perceptions and conditioning.
- One can only change ones thoughts and beliefs not someone else’s. So keeping that in mind think before stepping to please someone.
- Before trying to please the world take time to please yourself. Do things that makes you happy and brings a smile onto your face. Others happiness will follow easily once you have your own happiness.
- Accept people for who they are, no one can change unless they wish to change with their own will. Instead of trying to make them do things as per your way let them be. There is no need to try to please them but at the same time give them respect and space.
- Avoid getting into the drama of pointing fingers and blame game these will lead you nowhere. This would only bring frustration and pain which can be avoided.
- Take time to know your thoughts and introspect into your life see what’s happening and how would you like things to move.
- Hold space for people you care but remember don’t overstep or try to do things just cause you want that one minute of spotlight.
- Keeping in mind the universal law, the more respect you give the more respect you get. So respect yourself and also everything around you.
Life teaches us various lessons, sometimes we know these are lessons and at times we feel miserable being oblivious to what is unfolding in front of us as we get caught in the drama and forget the truth about the situation. Through this out of pure frustration, we can lead ourselves towards doing things that don’t please us or make us happy.
Nevertheless, we think we are making others happy, but here happiness will not come in with trying to do such things. Trust your gut instinct and do things that make you comfortable.
When we understand the importance of self-love it becomes easy to understand what makes us happy.
Pleasing others is a choice that lies within each person and they can choose to act on it or not.
Get in touch with Samskara Healing, if you are looking for a mentor or you need a session of healing and help remove blocks feel free to reach out and book a consultation.
Palash
In Gratitude to Divine
Spiritual Healer
Shaman
Reiki Grandmaster
Samskara Healing
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